Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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