Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
