so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
