Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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