I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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