used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
