I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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