Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
