he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
