Non-Jews are for practice
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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