There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
