So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
