jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
zippers are such a cool invention
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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