the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just found puke in my bra..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
