We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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