I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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