Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
