the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
