You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What drink are we having for lunch?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i believe in u and ur pee
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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