Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
