I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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