It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
