all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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