The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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