Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
