Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Boobs are out for the taking
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
