If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize