i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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