She's JV to your varsity
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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