a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
