Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
