These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
