So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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