Don't make out with my wife yet
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
