So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
