You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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