Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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