if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm going to jail i love you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
