Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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