jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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