Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
