dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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