I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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