Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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