remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
