worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize