I should be sponsored by Trojan
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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