OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Are my feet made of real feet?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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