Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
