i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
