Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
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