I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
