He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
