I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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