It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
