Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
