Buhtt sex?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
