Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
