Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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