I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
