i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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