I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
