thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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