last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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