Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
