you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
