She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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