I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm too high and old for this...
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